Change in perspective

When I was 17 or 18, I drove my older brother's 1979 Sunbird home one time. That doesn't sound that cool, but he (personally) had crammed a 400 small block in there. It was the kind of car that put out 100 decibels of low-pitched BLUB BLUB BLUB BLUB BLUB when you just idled down the street barely touching the gas. For teenage-me, it was awesome. I was also fascinated by loud motorcycles and fighter jets. Standard stereotypical teenage boy stuff, I guess.

When I reached my mid twenties, they were merely "interesting", but mostly just the engineering side of things. A loud car didn't turn my head, and I'd usually just feel embarrassed for whoever was trying to impress people by making loud car noises.

Now, however, I completely hate them. Loud cars, loud motorcycles, loud dogs, and loud people in general. I hate them with the fire of a thousand burning suns.

What's changed?

I have a sleeping toddler.

When that little bugger is finally asleep, it changes everything.

I want to shoot potato guns at the douches who stomp on the gas in their assholemobiles when leaving the stop sign near our house.

I want to help settle your public domestic shouting problem with duct tape and wire.

I want to feed chocolate to your dogs.

I want to ban car alarms.

I want to legally mandate maximum decibels on everything: cars, trucks, horns, jets, kids, your mouth…

I want your favorite overly-bass-heavy musician to die of a drug overdose.

Or, at least wait until 4 or 5 PM. He'll be awake by then.