Natural cures generator

You don't need medicine. You need natural cures!

For schizophrenia, use catnip oil!

Every year, over 470 million people suffer from schizophrenia. The native people of Australia have been using catnip oil for thousands of years to fight schizophrenia.

To fight your schizophrenia, simply take the catnip oil and eat it with a meal four times a day until the condition resolves, or forever, which ever comes first.

catnip oil can treat schizophrenia because it eliminates free radicals. It also works as a prebiotic.

Side effects include: confirmation bias, superiority, and imagining your symptoms have lessened.

While there may be no good, double-blind, randomized clinical trials that show effectiveness, there are some people who believe it's true, including some doctors, so that should be good enough for anybody! Also, it's all natural, so it can't hurt (except if you avoid real treatments, or it turns out that too much catnip oil causes some other problem, but that's just common sense).

Nobody knows, so we'll say "none"!

Next cure!

See also: The Drug Name Generator.