Harry Potter and the Several Mildly-Amusing Alternative Titles

I've read the first two Harry Potter Books so far. They seemed rather… I don't know, maybe they're just not for me? I've started number 3, but haven't been able to make myself read more. Anyway, rather than write a review, I thought I'd give a list of possible alternative, more accurate titles:

Harry Potter and the Arbitrary and Inconsistent Use of Magic

In this book, Harry, his friends, and the senior witches and wizards of Hogwarts find new ways to arbitrarily use, or avoid using, magic.

Harry Potter and the Series of Improbable Rescues

In this book, a variety of barely-mentioned people, objects, animals, and mythical creatures come improbably to Harry's rescue at the last minute.

Harry Potter and the Complete Lack of Competent Adult Supervision

"Let's go fight trolls, spiders, monsters, ghosts, and whatever! Alone!"

Harry Potter and the Irrational Actions of Everyone Involved

'nuff said…

Harry Potter and the Number of Lazy Plot Devices/Contrivances

See previous entries. See also Quidditch scoring. See also house points.